|Posted by Nathalie Brewer on October 14, 2012 at 8:25 AM|
I recently had a private tutoring session with a confident middle aged man. He has just entered into a career as a life coach. Occasionally he has the opportunity to speak to small groups of people about the service he offers.During these talks he often feels as though he is holding back. When it comes to the point when he speaks about his service he feels himself shrinking and finds it hard to connect. Afterwards he would be left with an empty, hollow feeling. During our first session we discovered he was afraid of coming across as too contrived or sales oriented. We also discovered he was 'holding back' due to fear of how people would receive his passion, enthusiasm and excitement about his topic. He had not yet experienced being able to share his joy simultaneously with his service. Instead he felt as though he was imposing himself on others.
Does any of this sound familiar? Well you needn’t feel alone for this is a very common experience. The first question I asked this man is “What are you trying to achieve?” He initially spoke about his desire to share, impart and to give. One level beneath this was a desire to sell his product and acquire more clients. For this, he was experiencing feelings of guilt and lack of integrity to the point that it was effecting his presentations and his deep purpose.
In this article I would like to offer you three ways to address this issue froma Heart Speakers perspective.
1. Separate your passion from your offering
Public Speaking from the Heart is about knowing who you are and what you want. Often there will be a sales-based motivation for you to offer your passion. The cross-over between your sale and your passion can cause you to lose energy and confidence. For example, say you want to acquire more clients to your practice. You must first ask yourself about your ruling motivation. If your ruling motivation is to gain more clients, that is fine. But try not to mask your ruling motivation (your offering) with your motivation to inspire people about your passion. Separate them out. Focus on one thing at a time, and do them each wholeheartedly. When you are delivering the inspirational or educational part of your talk, be whole-hearted in the gift of imparting. When it is time to discuss your service, be whole-heartedin offering the gift of your unique service. People will deeply appreciate your clarity of intent and expression. This makes their decision much easier as to whether they will engage your service or to walk away feeling informed about your topic. Either way, you have been effective in the expression of both your passion and your offering.
2. You can’t ‘sell’ to the intuition
Gone are the days of the 1980’s when the use of manipulative sales techniqueswere widely effective. We have now become ultra-perceptive to the use of sales techniques and will often go out of our way to avoid purchasing a product if we suspect the use of hidden motivations. We either want it or we don’t (with no hidden gimmicks). When it comes to making an on-the-spot decision, people need to be inspired or moved to the point of making what I call ‘an intuitive purchase’.
An intuitive purchase is where we make a transaction based on something deeper than feelings or desire. Have you ever had this experience? It’s when you develop an instant connection with something and you know it is meant to be a part your life. To purchase a course or workshop is like buying a new part of your life. We want to be verified from within, that it is the right addition to make.
If your target market are people who are in tune with the intuitive purchase then you will be both ingratiated and challenged by your audience. In order to sell to this type of client you will need to treat your audience as both your student and your teacher.The best way to impart your knowledge is to be as close to it as possible within yourself. The closer you are to the source of your own wisdom, the closer other people can feel to theirs (and hence closer to their own intuition). This is what makes your offering priceless! It gives people the experience of knowing what you say is true and valid, not because you say so, but because they can feel it. The intuitive sale is a natural extension of this. The closer you are to the value of your work, the more other people will value it too.
3. Embody your knowledge
The practice of embodying your knowledge is crucial to your practice of public speaking. Confidence comes from a deeply relaxed state of embodying who you are and what you know in the full presence of others. Too often, public speaking is seen as a skill or a technique. Quite often people will band-aid their fear of public speaking with some very effective ‘tools’ such as voice projection, body language and eye contact. This seems to work for a time; however giving a well performed speech can often result in a lingering feeling of emptiness and disconnection. As a Heart Speakers coach I am constantly working to dismantle the mistaken idea that you will become a better speaker once you become more ‘confident’. In my experience, confidence does not come from utilising a technique any more than milk comes from a cardboard carton. In this new era of conscious awakening, please be cautious of learning old methods of public speaking to convey new messages of unified truth.
If you would like to more fully embody your knowledge within your public speaking experience, ask your intuition if you need to take a Heart Speakers course. Go on, try asking yourself right now! If the answer is yes, then I sincerely look forward to seeing you soon. If your answer is no, I have unwavering faith that your path will unfold just as it needs to and the appropriate guidance will come to you. It is my deepest wish for you (and your future audiences) that it does come to you; that you learn to move effortlessly from a place of clarity and intent; that your audiences will sense your gift and your service combine; and that each person who hears you speak may experience the delivery of your service as selfless, pure and above all, priceless.